Birthday and Ego: What Turning almost 45 Taught Me About Aging
I celebrated my birthday two weeks ago.
44… and soon 45.
I remember a time when that date meant something different.
I would wait for messages, for attention — for subtle signs that I mattered in other people’s minds.
And when someone forgot…
I would feel that slight sting.
As if a part of me had been overlooked.
Over time, that feeling has softened.
Not because I feel less.
But because I understand more.
Behind birthdays, there is often something invisible at play: the ego.
That part of us that wants to be seen, acknowledged, celebrated.
That feeds on external validation to feel real.
For a long time, I wasn’t fully aware of it.
Now, I observe it with more gentleness.
Because aging — especially as a woman approaching 45 — is not just a physical transformation.
It’s an inner evolution, quieter… but far deeper.
You begin to let go.
To expect less.
To depend less on the outside world.
And something shifts.
A birthday becomes less about waiting…
and more about pausing.
An invitation to ask more essential questions:
- Why do I need to be remembered on that day?
- Is it a celebration of life… or of my identity?
- Who am I, beyond how others see me?
In a world increasingly focused on self-awareness, personal growth, and letting go, these questions feel more relevant than ever.
Aging, perhaps, is not about accumulating years.
It’s about shedding.
Shedding expectations.
Shedding illusions.
Shedding the need to be constantly validated.
At 44, almost 45, I don’t claim to have all the answers.
But I do feel something settling within me.
And maybe growing older isn’t about becoming more…
But gently learning how to be —
without needing anyone else to confirm it.
